Higher self-confidence increases your attractiveness
If you haven't dated in a while; you may find yourself wondering how important self-confidence is to attracting a mate. According to studies by the American Psychological Association and many others, it's hugely important.
People sometimes confuse confidence with arrogance or snobbishness. Confidence is about trusting that you can attract various people, and believing that you have the ability to enjoy getting to know them until it becomes obvious whether you are a good match for each other. Confident people tend to be friendly and kind to almost everyone.
When you're confident, you can become acquainted with someone without becoming invested in a specific outcome from that connection. You know what you want in a relationship, and you're willing to walk away from someone who is unable or unwilling to provide it.
You can tell if you're confident about dating when you can be open to what comes your way, and accept the ups and downs without getting upset with yourself when you're feeling inadequate, blaming others or feeling defensive. When you're in this mode, you attract more positive romantic attention from others.
When you're confident you can move through the world with an attitude of self-assurance and openness to the possibilities that meeting others can offer.
Attitudes sometimes mistaken for confidence
- Arrogance is a display of superiority or self-importance. It's about needing to show others that you may know better than anyone else.
- Snobbishness is often manifested by looking down on others, having the attitude of, "How dare you think that you're important enough for me to pay attention to?"
People are attracted to those who are confident and turned off by those who express arrogance or snobbishness.
Seven ways to boost your confidence include:
1. Update your wardrobe: wear colorful, flattering and figure-skimming outfits to transmit signals that you're available.
2. Practice behaving in a friendly, poised and self-confident manner when you go out in public. Showing the world you have faith in yourself is likely to impress a potential suitor.
3. Update your look by asking your hair stylist what cut would be best and then give it a try.
4. Brush up on your conversational skills. Warm up before you go on a date by thinking about what you'd like to talk about. Review the news and local events. Think about topics that you'd like to discuss. Dating involves talking to strangers so you'll come across as more relaxed if you can engage in casual conversations on a wide variety of topics.
5. Broaden your social network by attending a variety of MeetUps, public social events and social classes, such as dance, improv or martial arts.
6. Be friendly to everyone you meet. Stay open to new opportunities to get to know people. Meeting others—in a safe environment—it is a great way to discover if you want to explore the possibility of a friendship or romance.
7. Show an interest and enthusiasm about nurturing new relationships: one might develop into a romance. Getting to know someone before you let chemistry and projection take over really helps to build up trust and the groundwork for a relationship.
Addtional tips for women:
- Most men enjoy touching your hair. If your style requires a generous spray or gel to keep it in place, ask your hair stylist what you can do to minimize product use.
- Experiment with makeup. Investigate department store makeup counters by observing how they are doing makeup for their clients and find an age-appropriate style for yourself. Many department stores' makeup counters also offer free makeovers that don't require a purchase.
Additional tips for men:
- If your hair is thinning on top, accept it and cut it short or go bald rather than combing it over.
- Check your clothes for cleanliness, stains and frayed cuffs and collars. If you can't fix them, get new ones for when you go out.
Feeling confident is, without a doubt, the most important thing that you can do when you're starting to date again.