She worries that his appearance will turn her off

I was at a dinner party when Alexis asked, "How can I find out if a guy is circumcised before I waste time dating him?"

Everyone laughed, but it soon became clear that she was really serious.

"Just add 'cut men only' to your profile," I joked. I learned long ago to avoid giving dating advice in social situations. So much of dating is about getting to know someone well enough to discover whether you can get into a relationship and a party just isn't the place to go into that.

Like Alexis, you may not realize how little you know about someone until you've gone out a few times.The power of attraction may blind you to your date's true personality.

Discover whether you're a good fit

A big part of it is discovering whether or not you're compatible: both in and out of the bedroom. And, you'll discover more if you watch his actions, rather than listening to his words.

So, take a little time to be a dating detective. Usually, you can find out a lot about him after a few short dates.

Is he quick to make contact and ask you for the next date? Does he remember what you talked about? If you find yourself analyzing his behavior and making excuses for him, it's likely that both of you may be looking for a different things right now.

If he says he's crazy about you, but doesn't show up, then his sexual prowess is irrelevant.

Talk about what's important before you go to bed

But, if everything is going well, and you're considering making love, it's smart to have the Safe-Sex Discussion. It's a great opportunity to discuss your sexual quirks before you consumate your relationship. And, if you're not compatible, you'll have to decide whether he's worth it or if you'll hold out for someone who meets your sexual requirements.

P.S. Alexis, If you want advance assurance that your man is circumcised, date only Jewish or Muslim men. Due to decreasing circumcision rates in recent years, Boomers are also more likely to be circumcised than those who were born after the late 1960s.  Or, you might even be able to discover the answer if you ask him how he feels about San Francisco's ballot measure to outlaw circumcision.