If you're not sure where it's headed...

Dear Annie, Mike and I have been dating for a few weeks. He seems interested, calls me often and we have a great time together. But, I'm not sure where it's headed and I don't want to waste my time. I do want to know that he's not dating other people—I'm not—and that he's interested in our having a future together. When is the best time to have "the talk?" Lilly

Dear Lilly, One of the biggest budding relationship killers is the pressure and sense of potential desperation created by one person's premature need to know where a new relationship is going. As you spend time together and your relationship progresses, its direction will become obvious to both of you.

In the meantime, rather than initiate a conversation about the direction of your relationship, extricate yourself from your early, and potentially one-sided desire for commitment.

Don't stop dating others until you've agreed to be exclusive

Until Mike asks you to be in an exclusive relationship, it's imperative for you to continue dating other men.

Don't worry that you are being disloyal: if you don't have an agreement that you're exclusive, it means that each of you is free to date others. Continue to enjoy his company as well as that of other men.

A man has no incentive to commit if you are already giving him everything he needs. If he knows that you're always available or if you hold yourself accountable to him, he has no reason to ask you to be exclusive; because he knows that you already are.

If after a couple of months, he doesn't ask for a commitment, let him go. Tell him something along the lines of, "I really like you. But, I have a feeling that we're not looking for the same thing. I want to be in an exclusive relationship that's moving towards long-term commitment. And, it seems like you may want something else. So, no hard feelings, but I think we should stop seeing each other so that we can both find what we need."

If he wants a future with you, he will let you know. But, in the meantime, don't commit to someone who only makes you an option.