I think a very clear and common pattern has emerged on Match. Men don't want to get to know an average-looking, middle-aged woman. The only women I know who are having success are beautiful, blonde or skinny.

I don't think I have it in me to play this dating game. Men are annoying and weird at best. Suzanne

Hi Suzanne, Most people who try online dating become discouraged from time to time.

1) Remember that online dating is a way to increase your opportunities for meeting single men. You will meet far more men if you are online.

2) Finding a compatible partner takes time. Hoping that you will meet the right man right away is not a realistic expectation. Most of your correspondence will not lead to romance. But, you are more likely to meet a great guy because you are actively exploring possibilities.

3) Having some undesirable men contacting you is par for the course. It doesn't mean that you are flawed. You aren't doing anything wrong simply because you are attracting them. All you can do is decide to respond to those who seem worthwhile to you. Then, unclutter your searches by blocking the others.

4) If you meet one decent man online every month, that is one more man than you would have met if you weren't online. So, try to meet men in other ways: through friends, classes and social events. Only about twenty to 25 percent of couples meet online--so it's not a magic bullet. But it can bring you more opportunities for love.

5) Beware of judging eligible men by their spelling ability. This causes many women to miss out on great men. One of my most eligible bachelor clients couldn't spell if his life depended on it. He's successful, charming and kind. And, he's ready for a commitment. He uses an iPad, which doesn't have a spell checking function, for most of his match correspondence.

6) Avoid the temptation to rule a man out by his photo. Most online photos leave a lot to be desired.

7) Once you decide that men are "annoying and weird at best" or "creepy," you are likely to view all men through that filter. You'll be less open to the possibility that there are good men out there who can appreciate you for who you are. Remember the first rule of magic: "Whatever you focus your attention on becomes your reality." When you believe that good men are not interested in a woman like you, you are likely to discount those who may want to meet you.

Online dating is simply a tool where you can meet men of all sorts. People online have as much in common with each other as do kids at a public high school. Each man is on the site for his own reasons. Each one is in a unique place in his life and is interested in women with different characteristics.

You can't really discover much from an online profile. But, it's a great way to find men to meet in person.