Their first date was spent in the aisles of Costco. They went for coffee afterwards and had an interesting conversation. We talked after they had gone on a few dates.

“He’s growing on me,” she told me.. “At the very least I have a new friend. As I get to know him, he’ll either become more attractive, or not. I’m in no hurry to find out. I’m not seventeen and being driven solely by hormones.” A few weeks later, she’s still enjoying their slow brewing romance.

Cindy is taking a win-win approach. She values Ray, whether he turns out to be a friend or a lover. If a romantic relationship doesn’t come of their connection, she’ll include him in her circle of friends, and perhaps he’ll introduce her to someone.

Like Cindy, most women discover that chemistry often develops as they get to know a man. When you like his personality, he is likely to become more attractive. Give yourself permission to go on a few dates and discover whether a connection begins to grow before you jump to any conclusions.oesn’t come of their connection, she’ll include him in her circle of friends, and perhaps he’ll introduce her to someone.

In our fast-paced, goal-oriented culture, women often want to have the thrill of instant chemistry—which often results in frustration when reality kicks in. Next time, why not try the slow-bake kind? It’s a kinder, gentler way to experience romance.