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Introducing yourself without looking desperate

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Dear Annie, When my friends and I are out at a club, men never come over and say hello. We just sit around and wait. I don't want to introduce myself to a guy because I'm afraid he'll think that I'm chasing him to hook up. How can we get them to come over? Helen

Helen, Men are more likely to talk to a woman who acts open and friendly. It's difficult for a guy to break into a group of women who are chatting among themselves and ignoring everyone else. One of the most common complaints I get from men is that women act disinterested and unapproachable.

When you go out, smile, nod and say hi to as many guys as possible. The others will see that you're open and friendly, and they will be more likely to get into a conversation with you. It's OK to introduce yourself, have a short chat, and exit with a friendly compliment such as "It's been fun talking with you."

Be sure to stick to light topics. The point is to make contact, then to get to know him better later. Most people become comfortable after several brief visits, rather than if they engage one long discussion.

If you engage in a long or intense discourse about personal subjects with someone you just met, you may give him the impression that you're desperate. Save your relationship questions for much later. Just see if you enjoy his company when you first meet him.

in Meeting new people Hits: 12526 1 Comment

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  • Guest
    Tom Bold Friday, 11 February 2011

    Since no one has commented; I'll put in my 3 cents worth. Ladies; I conduct weekly unique wine hikes every week. Most of the time we are on the short end of the stick with men. With my three meetup groups: Wine Lovers, Hawaii travel lovers & the big Backroads wine & nature adventure group; it is about 85% singles. But not 85% men. But the word is getting out. More men are seeing the odds. You could also hang out at Frys & other Hi-tech stores to get to talk to the couch potatos that are there. Talk about their HDTV's or computers, etc.
    Suggest they get off their arse & get some fresh air in nature & some wine after. Adventure ladies!!!
    Zip lines are coming soon to Napa valley. I'll be there.

    Hulaman Tom

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Guest Friday, 29 May 2015