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Dear Annie,
I recently met this wonderful woman. In the space of a couple of weeks, we went on three dates, and had an amazing time. She had to leave town for several days for a business trip shortly after our third date. When she returned a couple of days ago, I called and left a message, but she didn't return my call. I texted her a couple of times, and she waited a whole day to answer. Friends say I should give her a break, and call again, but I feel that if she didn't like me enough to return my call right away, that I should forget it.
What do you think I should do?
Bernie
Annie Replies
Dear Bernie,
I understand why you feel disappointed. After three dates, you're looking forward to more of a steady relationship. However, you're wondering if she feels the same. The thing is that there is no one formula, nothing except direct communication that will give you the real answer that you want. Yes, she may have decided that you aren't "the one". Or it could be something else. The trick is not to assume the worst - don't try to mind-read. Even people who are psychic get tripped up when it comes to their own personal lives. You need to find out what her version of the truth is.
Call her and ask her on a fourth date to talk. Once she's told you why she didn't respond quickly to your calls, you'll know what the real story is. She could have been overwhelmed with work, and not have been able to call at a reasonable hour, or sick, or had a family emergency or....or.... The truth will set you free!
Having a talk about your feelings can be scary. Whatever the result, it will give you an honest reading about whether or not you have a real connection with this person. If so, you can move forward, with both of you having a greater understanding of each other. If not, it's time to say "NEXT!"
Here's to a great love life! Annie
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